An attempt at story-telling.I know its a time when any post with the keyword 'Anna' is appreciated.But a boy-girl story sells anytime,accept it or not!Thanx to anonymous for the story line.Felt first person narrative was effective..here it is:
The dirty haired,sallow-faced kid spying on Lily as she played,lazing out in the grass with her,sad as he watched her being sorted into Gryfinndor,miserably trying to apologize for calling her 'mudblood',helplessly watch her befriend James,offered 'anythin' to keep her safe,a broken man as held her letter to Sirius..crying,a brave man who sacrificed his life to protect the boy who had her eyes coz he'd love her ALWAYS.Yeah,it was about Snape I'd been thinking as the bus drove through the familiar hustle and bustle of the evening's traffic.That's what my mind does;think of stuff like this when you know there's some important thinking to do.
I knew he'd be waiting for my answer.Did I have to do it just then?No,I still had time.It was his last day in the city and he'd be leaving first thing in the morning.Better if we both know my answer before he leaves.Yeah,I had to decide today.Right now.I could've answered in the affirmative that night he proposed me with the message but couldn't figure out what had held me back.But is that how you express your love for a girl...over msgs or chats?!A decent face-to-face proposal works wonders...then again,every guy's nightmare;what if she turns you down!Past experiences had taught never say 'no' to a guy right then and there...so,told him I needed time to think it over.Asking for time is like asking the guy to watch a ticking time-bomb,I know!'No',I wanted that to be my answer as much he did..Also, he...he wasn't someone I wanted to turn down.True,I'd had feelings for him before...now they were all locked up in some dark corner of my existence.Wasn't he the one who had always stressed on how we were just good friends blah blah.As if I didn't know!Fine,if that was how he'd wanted it,I'd decided.
He's caring,smart,funny in a geeky sort of way,loves me more than I can imagine..(yeah I knew that).He is,in his own words,awesome.In short,he might just be everything I ever wanted.Then what was stopping me..?!You see people fall in and out of relationships now and again.It all looks quite common...fun from far..u never know the happiness or the pain involved.Did I really want this?Was I ready?I have my non-existent-career to think about...yes,do something both satisfying and enjoyable..toldja,NON-EXISTENT!And ofcourse,though people often confused me for one,I was no brahmin. In India,pursuing love wont be as easy as falling in it!What if it ended badly..?Could I face it?!No,I'd like everyone's hearts intact.NOW was not the time and I wasn't ready...not ready...a fancy phrase,but true.
I wondered why his usual 'wassup?:)' hadnt reached me yet.Busy packing bags,maybe.Telling myself to keep it as casual as possible,I txted him.He replies asking for a famous landmark near my place.A weird question when you least expect it.That was him alright.I answer the question and start typing a lengthy explanation as to why we can't be together.Texting wasn't the ideal way to say what I had to say but a telephone conversation could be very complicated.And then I wait...knowing full well how he must be feeling and how I felt,myself.
After what seemed like an eternity,my inbox reads "I dont know what to say...are you sure??" Ofcourse I wasn't sure!I launch into typing another long text,knowing very well he would be too numb right now to even read that."Is thr some1 else..?" Well,there are a lotta guys I found nice and cool.But did I love anyone?No."No,no one else.." Then some msg about me totally not getting the difference between 'lose' and 'loose'....what did I tell you about wierdness! "you know i nvr force anyone..hope our friendship isnt affected by this.guess i'll be leaving then...am near ur place.Just wanted to say goodbye"
See,he was decent.No tantrums.Nothing.Just acceptance...though he must have felt like he was going through hell!Ofcourse,friendship gets affected...what's he talking about!What did he mean he was near my place??He wasn't kidding,right?My mind decided to buffer the shock,or was it surprise;now I couldn't think,at all.What an idiot he was!And what a timing I had chosen to give that painful reply.For once,I felt like a total b****.He was waiting there for me and I'd had no idea..no not one.It couldn't have been easy...he was new in the city.But Google Maps,seriously?!Oh the crazy,geeky him!
He was leaving?No,I had to do something!But What?!I called him up and asked him to stay where
he was.Who cares what the people on the bus thought...I'll cry if I want to!His voice was shaky but I was close to tears as well.Once calm,I called up home to say I'd be late and was going for dinner with a friend who happened to be in the neighbourhood.It was mom who picked up..lucky!If it were dad there are bound to be too many questions for my liking.All mom said was "Alright,Eat well...was just about to make aloo parathas!" Sometimes,food seems the only thing moms care about! I could hear my sister shout "Enjoy!Have fun!" Oh,I must have been on loudspeaker.I could very well imagine the look on her face,the little brat!Never missed a thing,that girl.She knew who I was going for dinner with."Okay,you study!" I shout before killing the call.
Which restuarant?It hardly mattered which,but I had to decide.The brand new one on the main road looked good.Well,it was time.Bid good night to bus-uncle...that's what I call him.This is it.Had no clue what to expect,how the evening might go.Oh yeah,did I look okay?I was tired and it had been a long day at work!I reached the bus-stop where he'd said he'd be waiting..I saw him.There he sat,hugging his bag,with is head bent and almost asleep.There was no way I could see his face and I didnt quite fancy waking up a sleeping stranger.I recognised his bag.The scene wrenched my heart.He didn't deserve this.Waiting at some random bus-stop,in a completely new place filled with strangers speaking a strange language...to meet the girl who'd just taken him on a short tour of hell!How in this freakin-world-of-freaky-stuff was I supposed to expect this!I poked him.
A look at his eyes was proof enough for me to decide guys do cry.He hands me a super-big bar of chocolate.I cant refuse,I know.I say thanks and inform him we are going for dinner.He says he'd better get going back.I couldn't help but raise my eyebrows...and start walking.I had to work hard to be myself just then!(yeah,it didn't make sense to me as well)I launched into a commentary on all the shops,clinics,hang-out spots as we walked past them.He never did talk much which meant I could expect him to expect me to do all the talking tonight!
"A table for two",I said and was immediately lead into the dining hall though there were many people waiting in the lounge.Ah,just us,it strikes me.When was the last time I went on a date?!Personally,I dont think anyone can be comfortable at a-table-for-two!We hungrily wait for the people at the next table to leave and pounce on the table-for-four.I like cushions.I checked myself in the mirror on the pretext of washing hands.Okay,not bad,I decided.Not beautiful maybe,but interesting enough.No girl looks bad when she's in one of her favourite outfits!
We talked mostly of work and what his plans were after he left his job here.If only he knew how I felt every time he smiled!It was comfortable just sitting there talking but we'd be fools to expect that the other had forgotten the conversation that happened a few minutes back.Was that just few minutes back??I was starving.Surprisingly,little food made its way through my mouth.He drinks lots and lots of water.I offered mine when he said his water bottle was empty.Was he happy about that?Huff,it looked like it!We shared the bill..yes,I couldn't let him pay,not tonight.
It was raining when we left.It was getting late and the rain slowed down as we waited.I suggested "Let's walk" to which he replies "Lets buy an umbrella"...such brilliance!Only if I buy an umbrella every time I'm stuck without one,I'd own my own multi-storied umbrella store.So,we walk again and he tells me he's more worried for his shoes than for himself.'Wow',I tell myself.I give him directions on how to catch the next bus to his place and shake hands saying 'It was nice to meet you tonight'.What was I thinking?!Was it me talking!He laughs loudly and says bye.I couldn't look into those eyes...could hear a voice in my head go 'Don't look at me like that,boy!'
As I waved one last time and turned to go home,it dawned on me there was no guy...no one in this world just then,who would actually go to so much trouble to just meet and say bye!..And I knew I wasn't the sort of girl a guy could forget after a conversation.Its just the beginning,I tell myself as I walk home,a smile playing on my lips...
